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Stepping out of the Adventist bubble

In the second-grade, I was in a multi-grade class with a teacher who was also the principal. It was tough for me to comprehend what she was teaching half of the time due to the distractions.

Because I had difficulty learning in such an environment, my parents decided to pull me from that Adventist school. So, starting in fourth-grade and up until eighth-grade, I was enrolled in an Episcopalian School.

It gifted me the experience of going to school with people outside of my denomination and outside of my religion. Each and every student in my class was different. We all had a story,  and we all had different beliefs, but we somehow put it all aside and became friends.

I was able to learn about everyone’s culture and religion in a wholesome way. In eighth grade, each student of a different religion/denomination presented to the class their beliefs. Then we’d research as a class different aspects of those religions and visit their place of worship.

Upon graduating from Saint Joseph’s, I went to a Baptist high school in my area. My two years at Berean Christian School were tough, mainly because for the first time in my life my beliefs were challenged.

If I said I went to church on the Sabbath, they would mock me and tell me how that made no sense. It was exhausting trying to explain it to so many people and just hearing people judge or question me.

Going to school outside the “Adventist Bubble” has many advantages and disadvantages. I was able to learn about my friends’ different religions. I was exposed to things while at Saint Josephs that I would have never learned at an Adventist academy. At Berean, I learned how beautiful it is to praise Jesus through praise and worship.  I wholeheartedly believe that being at Saint Joe’s and Berean made me appreciate Adventism even more.

When my family was transferred to Orlando, I completed my last two years of high school at Forest Lake Academy. Being able to go to school functions that didn’t conflict with the Sabbath was a beautiful and refreshing feeling. It felt great not having to deal with the pressures of the social norms from my previous high school. Everyone understood me, and I understood them.

I believe it is important for me to do the same for my children. Keeping me in a private Christian school was very beneficial to me, despite it not being Adventist.

In the end, I am thankful for the path my parents and God put me on- even if it meant leaving the “Adventist Bubble.”

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I felt excluded at a women’s retreat … Here’s why

In March, I attended a Hispanic Weekend Spiritual Retreat for ladies and girls, ages 10 years and up, in my local church conference. The retreat was held in Cohutta Springs, Georgia. I traveled there with my mother, sisters, and other women from my parents’ church. 

I enjoyed the event.  However, throughout the weekend there was a constant stream of topics to which I could not relate. The irony is that it was supposed to be a  retreat for women of all ages. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

The first night’s meeting made me feel like an outsider.  It focused on married women with children and single mothers. There was a separate program for girls ages 10 through 17.

 Once the speaker began to speak about her intimate relationship with her husband, I felt awkward. Other women nodded their heads in agreement as she openly talked about healthy, loving marriages and ways to love and treat your husband, but I could not agree or relate.

My mom noticed a shift in my body language. “If you don’t feel comfortable being here, then how about you join the youth group,” she said.

I looked at her with an irritated facial expression.

I told my mom I am 21 years old and an adult. Simply not married and childless. For a retreat the marketed to all women, it just so happened that they forgot about my age group. When I expressed those sentiments to my mother and twin sister, they told me to take the information as advice for when I marry in the future.

According to the 2018 North American Adventist  Demographics Report, a study conducted by the Center for Creative Ministry and Commissioned by the NAD Office of Education, nearly four out of five adults in the Adventist population are married. But surveys of single adults among Adventists have reported that they often feel that congregations are dominated by married people and not very welcoming for singles.

“Over the last decade since the 2008 survey, the Adventist population has shifted even further away from single adults toward married individuals,” according to the study. “The percentage of divorced singles has not changed, but the percentages of primarily younger never-married singles and primarily older widowed singles have each dropped by roughly half. “

The demographic study suggests it could be an indication that Adventist congregations in North America are not improving their ability to connect with single adults and make them feel at home. It clearly states that there needs to be attention given to developing a more effective single’s ministries in the NAD.

I hope for the next Hispanic women’s retreat won’t overlook us single ladies; because although we are not in relationships or have children, we can still bring our flavor to the world.